


seventeen

by strwberrycake



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Heathers References, Heathers: The Musical References, Murder, Song fic, Teenage Ciel Phantomhive, Young Love, Youth, being young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 20:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17433359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strwberrycake/pseuds/strwberrycake
Summary: why can't we just be seventeen? is that so hard to do?





	seventeen

You were tired. You were tired of all of this. How many more deaths? How many more murders? How many more lies, heartbreaks, disappearances, _pain_ , did you have to endure? Now was the time to call it quits, you’ve had enough.

 

Ciel was already discussing his next plan with you. Someone involved with his parent’s murder. Someone evil. Someone who deserved to die. Someone who _had_ to die.

 

It took years for Ciel to let you into this side of him, even though you knew about it all along. After breaking off the engagement with Elizabeth for you, he vowed to hide that ugly, dark, and bloody reality from you. You were too pure, and too _good_ to be put through that. Ciel handled his underground affairs well for a while, but there was one slip-up and you witnessed your first dead body. You also witnessed the love of your life kill-–pull the trigger, and end someone’s lifeline.

 

The look in his eyes, you could never forget them. You realized that everytime he killed someone, he died a little as well. He was so young, he was seventeen now. You were both seventeen. Almost adults, just almost, but not quite. So why was he suffering like an adult? Putting himself in these adult-like decisions? And even worse, by himself. He had you, didn’t he? You couldn’t allow those hands of his to be stained, the same hands that held yours, and gave you love. At least, you couldn’t let him do this alone. You remember stepping over the pool of blood, and holding him tight. The light had gone out of his eyes knowing you saw what you did, he messed up, he knows you know he’s a monster now. You just cried for him, and held him tighter, keeping him together in case he fell apart.

 

After that, he let you know of what he was doing, what he was planning, and who was next. You even helped him sometimes. Got him things he needed, helped trick them, you even shot someone eventually. After two years of this partnership, you were used to the smell of blood, and knew how to maneuver a gun.

 

Elizabeth came to visit once, with her new fiance, a lovely pair they were. Her bright emerald eyes knew nothing of what you and Ciel had been up to. Her, and her fiance were so lovely. So in love. Drowning in each other’s adoration. The conversations they would skim through together were so normal, it hurt. They spoke of the weather, picnics, a new play in town, spring shopping. You couldn’t remember the last time you and Ciel had had such a wholesome, and _normal_ relationship. You were murderers. Your relationship revolved around trusting each other, and focusing on who to murder next. Who was next, who was next, bigger, and better, and closer, closer, closer to the end goal. What must it be like to be young? To enjoy life for what it is? You were tired.

 

When Ciel brought up his next plan, he noticed you weren’t paying as much attention as you usually did. Numbly staring out the large window in his study, you watched the rain, and the droplets cling to the glass.

 

“(y/n)? What’s the matter?”

 

“Ciel, don’t you get tired of this?”

 

His blue eyes widened, surprised by the sudden question. He averted his gaze from you, and looked out the window as well.

 

“I have to do this.”

 

“No, you don’t! So we’re damaged, we’ve been hurt, the world hasn’t been as kind as we needed it to be, but this! This isn’t living! Just because we’ve been hurt, it doesn’t give us the right to decide who lives or dies!”

 

Your hands grasped at your dress, bunching up the fabric. Tears threatening to spill, you kept your eyes on your fists, hanging your head.

 

Ciel sighed, “This is why I didn’t want to let you know. This is why you shouldn’t be with me. This is my life, this is my path. It’s not the best, but it’s what I’ve chosen. You have to accept that.”

 

Your voice barely above a whisper, “Why can’t we just be normal?”

 

He didn’t answer for a minute, “I’m not normal, (y/n). You should know this by now.”

 

“Don’t you want a life with me?”

 

The question took him by surprise, “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have done all of this if I didn’t.” His voice cracked slightly, like the thought of you not being his first priority was a shot to the heart.

 

“Then can’t we be seventeen? Young? Is that so hard to do? We have our whole lives ahead of us. Please! Let’s stop this. We don’t have to do this anymore. Let’s just be normal!”

 

Your head snapped up to look at him, his hands were balled into fists, and his eyes were screwed shut in pain, and remorse.

 

He let out an exasperated sigh, “I should have never let you in.” He muttered angrily.

 

You released your own fists, and walked over to him carefully, taking his hands. He flinched at the contact, but eventually relaxed into your touch. Gently opening them, you intertwined your fingers with his.

 

You watched him, waiting patiently for him to look at you. When he finally did meet your eyes, you smiled for him.

 

“We’ve been through a lot, and it’s terrible, we didn’t deserve it. But we still have a chance. Let’s just be seventeen. Let’s watch bad plays, drink some wine. We can go on picnics–”

 

“Go to the lake?”

 

“And take a picture.”

 

“Go to the park?”

 

“That’s all I want to do. I could be good with you, I’ll treat you well. I’ll love you.”

 

Ciel averted his eye, mulling over this new shiny possibility.

 

“Don’t stop looking at me.” You pleaded gently, your voice soft, but with a sense of urgency.

 

He looked back at you, and squeezed your hand.

 

“I won’t.”

 

“I’ll stay with you forever, if you choose me...You’re the one I choose.”

 

It took a minute of Ciel watching you, gazing into your eyes, to finally voice his answer.

 

“You’re the one I choose.”

 

“We have to let this all go. Let’s just be seventeen, please.”

 

His lips curled up in a small smile, “Let’s be seventeen.”

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i'm somewhat alive hehehe. i've been really into this heathers musical, and "seventeen" is one of my favorites. so i guess this fic is more of a headcannon? an au? kinda? well anyways ciel is seventeen, and sebastian, and the contract doesn't exist :3 it's just more of an angst confrontation. anyways i hope you guys found something you liked from this regurgitated garbage. i hope u guys are having a good day :>


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